From time to time it shows up, that so called liberating reframe of the
word imperfect. With a bit of ‘creativity’ the word ‘imperfect’ transforms
into ‘I’m Perfect’.
Come on, who are we fooling here?!
I’ve got some shocking news, NOBODY is perfect. Nobody, meaning not
a single person in the world. Even those who look into the mirror and
come to the conclusion that ‘if perfect doesn’t exist, it doesn’t get much
closer than the person I’m looking at now”, you’re simply underlining that
nobody is perfect.
This whole ‘I’m Perfect’ nonsense to me simply proves we’re unable
to embrace our human nature. We just find it too hard to embrace our
shortcomings. Making mistakes, breaking rules or even the law, lying,
forgetting, even screwing up completely, it’s all part of life!
I think being perfect would also be utterly boring! Never again wondering
whether you will succeed or fail…. Always knowing in advance that
whatever you do, whatever you try will work out without any shortcoming,
not a single error at all. Every exam we take, we know beforehand we get
the maximum score.
Without feeling the sadness of a failed exam or a failed attempt, we would
never be able to experience the joy of succeeding. It would just be normal.
Imagine that this exciting anticipation, this wondering will it work out or
not, will be stolen away from you? This would also steel away the joy
of succeeding, of passing that exam or whatever thing we tried out…..
Remember that ‘joy-gasm’ the last time you heard that great news of
succeeding? When you screamed from the top of your lungs a raw and
loud ‘YES’!! Your heart-beat went up and you were dancing with joy.
Well, being perfect will steal that away from you. It’ll simply make you an
emotional flat liner. Emotionally dead.
Another thing. Let’s imagine for a moment you found the perfect partner.
Your partner’s words, acts, moves, looks, silence, clothes, everything
would be just perfect. I would just freaking hate myself since I’ll never be
able to keep up, to feel equal to that annoyingly perfect partner!
OK, imagine that you too are a perfect partner. So never any arguments
again, hmm, boring! And on top of that, it would steal away good old
make-up sex, nah, that could never have been the idea behind a good and
There’s a third scary thought. Next to a totally boring, joy-less, predictable,
emotionally flat life without make-up sex, we would lose so many chances
to learn. We need to be imperfect to make mistakes whilst mistakes are a
door-opener to learn and grow. To learn and be creative whilst trying out
new ways. I believe in the old wisdom that where we fall, often the biggest
treasures can be found. Or that acronym, FAIL: First Attempt In Learning.
We need to fail, we need to be imperfect in order to learn.
So here is a small test you can do to decide if you really want to be
I want a life without:
o Make-up sex
If you tick one or more of the boxes, I wish you good luck on your path
If you tick none of the boxes, just get over yourself and embrace your
human state of imperfection.
- Where do I long to let go of my perfectionism?
- How is my perfectionism an obstacle to freedom and joy?
- How is my perfectionism an obstacle towards my relationships?
(©Alex Verlek 2019)