Killing the Moment

November 16, 2019

As young children we were all totally OK with our emotions. When we were sad, we allowed ourselves to be sad and probably simply cried.When we were happy, we laughed. And nothing inside us, nor anyone around us told us to do otherwise. It was all just fine.


Yet at some point, there was this first person who told us to not cry or to not laugh so loud. From that moment on a web of controlling mechanisms captured us and told us ‘to behave’. Whatever that may be. A system of shaming, correcting, punishment or reward tried to control our emotional behaviour. Too loud had to be dimmed, too silent had to be amplified. Too sad had to be comforted and hidden, too happy had to be normalized. Whilst nobody could give us a book which explained us what the norm was. You had to learn the hard way.


Many of us, at some point, experienced either an emotional explosion or an emotional implosion and the next step was an appointment with a therapist or a coach. And they worked hard, trying to reconnect us with our emotions and we had to learn how to laugh out loud again. Or we worked hard to learn how to express our anger ‘in a constructive way’ or to be with our sadness. Back to where we were, let’s say, up until the age of approximately 3 years old. Interesting process, don’t you think?


Dealing with our emotions in a proper way, pfff, that is hard work! Hmm, that feels weird since emotions are a normal human reaction to things that we experience. Emotions are a natural and healthy process how we can channel our energy. Emotions are ‘energy in motion, e-motion’ after all. Even the biggest spiritual teachers in the world experienced emotions, so why won’t we?


The question is actually, how to use that energy in a healthy way? For sure not by avoiding or ignoring them. One thing is for sure:


“We are killing the moment
by aiming to control our experience of it”.

Experiencing sadness is not the ultimate goal
Experiencing happiness is not the ultimate goal
Strive to simply be content with whatever is,
In any given moment.


By Alex Verlek, November 2019.

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