From Awareness Builder 101: Chapter 27

27. Enemies

 

It’s a blessing to have some wonderful friends. Some of them I don’t know not that long, others for decades. The record is more than 35 years! Travelling through life for so long with friends, you experience a lot, really a lot with each other. We’ve witnessed each other’s marriages, held each other’s new-borns. Held each other when we lost parents. Celebrated special occasions together and cried together when life was really tough. We’ve laughed our heads off and drank too much together. We worried over sickness and witnessed the suffering we all went through. We fought and made up. Spent holidays together, saw the kids growing up and becoming adults.

Well, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about…. Bottom-line is that I’m extremely grateful for having such people in my life and I pray we will grow much older together.

 

What is the opposite of a friend? The obvious answer seems to be ‘enemy’. I guess I don’t consider many people as my enemy yet looking back in time, I can think of people who really tried hard to deserve this title. One thing that really pisses me off is when someone constantly lies to me. Promises over and over, yet never delivering. An example coming up for me is when someone, after working a long time for this person, never paid for it yet over and over kept saying, next week, next month I’ll pay. With each time a new excuse why not. It’s not even so much about the money, yet the amount was substantial, but more about the constantly broken promises.

At some point I really started to hate this person and I could no longer stand her presence. I was unable to forgive and it occupied my mind, better said, my spirit. After a long time of trying to find a solution, I finally understood it would never happen. It was my birthday and I decided to give myself a huge and very expensive present: I sent a credit invoice and a note that I would close the file. It had to be over, I had to let go of this whole story, it drove me crazy!!

 

And, it feels I’ve learned something different about myself through this enemy, than I’ve ever learned about myself through my wonderful friends. Where my friends bring out the best in me, my enemy brought out my dark side. To the point it scared me. It shocked me which thoughts crossed my mind….

 

Looking back at it, I am grateful the universe sent this person on my path since there was a huge lesson I had to learn. I had to understand the dark side that lives in me. The devil that lives in me. That my ego can get so strong and stubborn that everything I think I stand for, gets thrown overboard. The universe sent me this enemy to teach me a lesson, painful yet very important. Probably because I was so convinced about how right I was, I needed to be taught a lesson about how wrong I could be. I had to be sharpened. I had to be softened. I so needed this teacher who ‘dressed up’ as my enemy.

 

Hmm, interesting concept….

 

 

Journaling questions for this chapter:

 

Who is my enemy who turns out to be my best teacher?

 

What is the lesson I needed to learn from this teacher?

 

How and where do I choose to apply this in my life?

 

 

© 2026. Alex Verlek, Coaching Works International.

 

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