From Awareness Builder 101: Chapter 28

28. Kids

 

“Daddy, do we have € 12.500 with us”?, Harry asked his father who stopped spontaneously because he was interested in buying a car from me. A question only a kid would ask with other people around. A totally logical question, and nothing wrong with it, but only a kid would say it. Right?

There is an endless list of things kids would say or ask that are so spot on, direct, transparent and shame-free which most adults would never dare to say that. Kids are just very curious and simply ask what they would like to know more about, like: “You have a weird nose, what is that spot on it”? And whilst asking that question, preferably poke on your nose just to make sure it’s clear it’s your nose we’re talking about…..

Or when they hear a word they don’t know, they just find out: “Mam, what is a milf”? Mother replies with a careful “Well, just someone who is a really nice mother. Why”? Her wonderful son answering with: “Oh, John’s father said you are a milf……”.

 

Young kids do not know the word shame. They don’t get the concept of ‘politically correct’. They are so real and authentic, they simply say and ask anything that comes up. Frequently leading to hilarious situations for the adults who’re neither the parents nor the ‘victim’. They just give words to what we all see, they are super straightforward with their feedback, they don’t talk around the bush. It’s probably something people dedicating their life to teaching small kids could write wonderful books about. An endless stream of funny quotes, ‘inappropriate’ questions and direct comments.

At least, that is how we adults see it, the kids are clueless about their unintended impact. They are so pure, what comes out of their mouth, even their non-verbal reactions is 100% about what they are experiencing in that very moment. And yes, they can cause awkward situations but they get away with it. What is it, that they can speak the hard truth, ask the weirdest questions and not get fired for it? Not end up in a fight or endless
discussions?

 

To me it feels the main difference is that kids don’t say these things with a bad intention. They are not smart enough, or is it mean enough to know how to set up a trap for someone. They just blurt what comes up since they are simply curious about what they observe. And when we, adults, take offence, it is our shame or our ego that gets in the way.

 

A sad milestone in a child’s life is when they experience shame for the first time. That, until then, unknown feeling of unsafety, insecurity, self-doubt. It comes with a pain, that eventually grows so big, that we start to develop mechanisms to avoid this at all cost. The lying, manipulating, bending the truth and keeping up appearances begins….Losing the child in us is one of the saddest moments in our life. Yet, I believe that we can all reconnect with this beautiful and pure energy that lives in us! This is unnecessary suffering…

 

What do we need to let go off to allow the inner child that’s hiding in us, come to life again?

 

Imagine what it could bring if we would let go off the obstacles so we can allow the inner child that’s hiding in us, come to life again?

 

 

Journaling questions for this chapter:

 

Where in my life am I holding back because I feel I have to behave in a
certain way?

 

What would it bring me, when I can be shame free like an innocent
child?

 

What do I choose to let go of to allow the inner child that’s hiding in me,
come to life again?

 

 

© 2026. Alex Verlek, Coaching Works International.

 

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