From Awareness Builder 101: Chapter 29

29. Right or Left?

 

Years ago I took the ferry to cross the North Sea between The Netherlands and England. It was a smooth journey and after a good night sleep in the cabin, we arrived. Everybody to their cars and I must admit, since it was the first time I would be driving in the UK, I was a bit nervous. I was used to driving on the right hand side, the Brits drive left. I slowly drove off the ferry and, simply following the other cars, I took the correct lane.
Shortly after I saw a sign that I found both hilarious as well as confusing. It said: ́Please drive on the right side of the road”. And I am sure in this case, right was left….. Playing with words is just funny, right?

 

And sometimes we catch ourselves playing with words in a not so funny way. I’m not even sure if we could call it ‘playing’ with words. We sometimes choose our words to convince people about us being right, to make sure they understand and admit they’re wrong. We become a wordsmith, with a tongue sharp as a knife. We search for the weak spot to hit our opponent, after all, the aim is to get them on their knees. Like a blacksmith we try to create the ‘object’ from iron or steel by forging that piece of metal, using all available tools to hammer, bend and cut it. For that we have to heat it to the point of melting, at least to make it flexible. We need to use force and hit it hard, or smart, as long as it bends into the shape we have in mind.

The blacksmith does it to create something beautiful or functional from the metal he’s working on. The force he’s using is consciously yet with care and intention because his ultimate goal is to create something that is much better than the piece of metal he started with. Ever saw how a high quality knife is being made? It’s a long process with many different steps. It requires patience and care. I would even say it needs a lot of dedication, respect and love for both the metal as the desired outcome, the knife, sharp as a razor blade.

The purpose of metal is to become some kind of functional object and for that it needs the will of the blacksmith to create it. Human beings are not like a piece of metal that we can hammer, bend or cut until they get the shape we want them to have. A good discussion, great! Where you speak and listen. Where you are open for other perspectives, where you put your ego aside and are (wo)man enough to admit you were not (completely) right.

 

When you always want to be right, you will be left…..

 

So, maybe the question to chew on is, what needs to be left to be right?

 

 

Journaling questions for this chapter:

 

Where am I too stubborn to admit I might not be right?

 

 

Where is my tongue as sharp as a knife?

 

 

What is so important about being right?

 

 

© 2026. Alex Verlek, Coaching Works International.

 

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