From Awareness Builder 101: Chapter 30

30. Sexy

 

Let’s admit it, we all have these moments when we see someone and we just can’t stop watching. There is something about that person, the way s/he looks, walks, talks, is dressed, moves, smells, the look in their eyes…. whatever it is, there is a response in us where we all of a sudden become rather primitive creatures again. Depending on the situation, maybe morals, maybe our courage we act upon it.

Or not. Maybe we’ve learned how to behave properly (whatever that may be….) and we decide to close our eyes or look the other way. Or we don’t want to upset our partner by openly staring and pretend we were looking at that nice car passing by. Or we say: “Did you see that cute baby”? Whilst in reality its sexy parent just took your breath away…..

Or these moments where your partner is not around and you feel there is a bit more room to flirt or maybe even play, also when realising it’s like playing with fire. Yet the warmth of the fire is so attractive, you want to get close, closer, you might even find yourself on fire. Lust! Again, from totally well mannered, a correct, loyal, faithful and dedicated partner, it sometimes just takes one look that could transform you into a primitive ‘hunter-gatherer’.

 

For a long time I thought it was just me. Boy, I felt bad…. Then I thought it was just men. At least it wasn’t just me anymore…. In the meantime I’ve understood also women have a ‘hunting-license’ and suffer from the same thing. Well, suffer…..

Whilst not giving up on appreciating the visual impact someone sometimes has, there is something else that I find very, very sexy. Being a dedicated heterosexual this is something that can happen to me whilst looking at a woman as well as looking at man. There is something so sexy about that person, I just have to take another look. I really become curious about that person. I have to act upon it! It’s like a magnet I can’t resist. This kind of sexy has nothing to do with that person’s cloths, the way s/he walks or talks, nor have the looks of that person anything to do with it! There is nothing physical to this kind of sexy, it has nothing to do with sex! In the examples mentioned above, yes, I admit, it sometimes crosses my mind, but here, no, not at all!

 

This person is wearing the sexiest thing I can think of. It is so strong and convincing, you just want to be around that person. Not to watch nor to touch. Nothing like that! You’re captured by this person’s energy and impact because this person is wearing the sexiest thing on earth: confidence. When we trust ourselves enough to radiate confidence, we become a star and start shining. We become inspiring and magnetic. When we stop hiding behind our finger, when we give ourselves the courageous permission to manifest our inner beauty, we not only become the sexiest person on earth, we also inspire and encourage other people to do the same. What a gift!

 

How sexy do you dare to be?

 

 

Journaling questions for this chapter:

 

 

What do I really want to radiate?

 

 

What becomes visible when I stop hiding behind my finger?

 

 

How sexy do I really dare to be? Like, really……?

 

 

© 2026. Alex Verlek, Coaching Works International.

 

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